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Sometimes a lot goes through my mind when I'm running, sometimes, very little goes through it. This is where you can read about my experience of every bit of training I have done.
The random song titles are simply whichever song starts my run and please do feel free to give music suggestions.
27th March - None
Distance: 3.85km
Pace: 7:02/km
Time: 27m 02s
Another early start for a plod today, but this time I wasn't alone. Well I was physically, but not mentally. Today marks one month until the marathon, and I realised yesterday that the three of us hadn't run together, so how did I come to a solution to this problem. Video calls.
When I say the three of us, I mean me, Michael (who is a student and I work in the pub with) and Mica (who I also kinda work with). These are the two people I managed to rope into coming along on this ridiculous journey with me. I genuinely don't think they realised what goes into marathon training, and I am pretty sure they will try to retire after this one. But to be fair I have been saying this for two years now and the habit is just getting worse and worse.
The problem with a video call is the draining of the battery, the lack of decent signal and the actually being able to speak.
So let's breakdown these problems. Draining battery. Just like my body on the run, it started off so well. Or at least there was some battery in my body, but it quickly ran out of charge, just as our phones did. I think Mica ended up on 12%. (Her phone, not her body), whereas I ended up on 12% physically.
Poor signal, means poor performance. One solution was to turn off the video feeds and make it like a phone call. For any Gen Z readers, this is what the telephone was originally designed for, but these days is rarely used for. As for the poor performance of my running, there was nothing that could salvage this run. It's not like I could push a button to perform better.
Being able to speak. What is the etiquette when three people are on a call, you're headphones are not the best, and you are completely out of breath and don't want everyone just hearing your heavy breathing? I don't think there are any etiquette rules for this, but I should, next time - if there's a next time, listen a little harder. I don't think they appreciated me constantly saying 'huh,' or ;ya what?' but syaing that they are used to me.
It was overall a difficult run. Not just because of technology, but because I have no fucking idea. It just didn't feel right and I don't think I havbe struggled on a 5k for just under a year. It may have been the time of day, starting off already tired. It could've been my body telling me not to push it. It could've been any number of factors.
To be fair it wasn't even a 5k. It was meant to be, but I just couldn't get that far. I know that sounds silly, but I think had I put in just over one more km, then I wouldn't have moved for the rest of the day.
As difficult as the run was, it was lovely running with the others. Yes we have three different paces, and were running in three different areas, but it was about bloody time that we trained together. However, I am not sure the other two will be wanting to repeat the experience anytime soon.
Maybe we should just focus on the starting line where we will be together and the pub after, where we most certainly be?
It's back to trying intervals tomorrow, which, considering how tired I am right now, is going to be another interesting run. At least this time, I don't have to try to talk, I get music back in my ears, and it'll hopefully be before the school shits, sorry kids, get in my way (yes I had to run faster passing them, so that I didn't look like a complete wanker.)
26th March - Young
Distance: 5.01km
Pace: 7:02/km
Time: 35m 15s
That was frustratingly slow. I dodn't even realise how slow I was going until afterwards when I checked my timings, but despite the pace, I did feel great after.
Today was my first run in nine days due to illness (one which actually saw my bedbound for an entire day). I was questioning whether or not I could even run, but knew that with less than five weeks until the marathon I had to get out there and just run.
And that's what I did.
I only choked about four times, and the route was mostly flat, but I got out there. Its amazing how much can change in such a short time. The magnolia trees are coming out and the sun was just at the right temperature (for a change). This didn't stop me sweating, but I think this time, I just sweated out the rest of the bug that has been really hitting me.
As much as I say the time doesn't bother me, in one sense it does. I've actually put effort in this time, to follow a plan and to try and improve on my marathon time, but then when you see your pace being about a minute slower per kilometre than usual, it does hit home. I just have to keep telling myself that I am still recovering.
What probably doesn't help with the recovery is that I'm going to try to fit in roughly two weeks of training into one week to get me back on track. This is on top of working, and generally living, which takes up too much time. Seriously, I need a housemaid, a butler, a chef, and the way I was the other day a groom of the stool. Alas, this isn't going to happen, so I'm going to just have to keep going the way I am.
Today was not only slow, but was differently fuelled. Due to illness I had a lack of diet coke and wispa bars in stock, so relied on a cheap sports isotonic thing and jelly babies. They seem to have done the trick in getting me around, but, they are not a sufficient substitute to proper fuelling.
I'm still adament that I will beat my previous PB, but if things don't improve I am worried about achieving my sub-5 marathon, which means I will have to do all this again. And to be honest with you, I really cannot be arsed with all that. I miss being lazy. I miss getting my endorphins from alcohol.
Not long now and this torture will be over.
16th March - Rock DJ
Distance: 21.33km
Pace: 6:01/km
Time: 2h 08m 33s
I'm sat here, exceptionally tired, trying to eat reheated curry and struggling to focus on the words I need to write. Some may say leave it until tomorrow,. but after today I needed to get it out of me. I could write so much but will try to keep it as condensed as possible.
Today was the day of the half marathon. The first time I have run a half marathon since October and it was beyond glorious. Not only did I get a PB, making it a double PB weekend. Not only was it a good PB it was a smashing PB. I shaved off over 8 minutes on the half marathon, but that wasn't the best part.
I had two unofficial pacers, who I couldn't thank properly afterwards, but they set the pace right from the start and it wasn't until 19kms that I overtook them. Basically I recognised the road and the route, so I thought 'fuck it,' and just went for it.
If it wasn't for these two, I doubt I would have had such a great time, even with the jelly babies that I managed to get through during the run. Yes - the have made a return. I think it may help that one of them had possibly the greatest arse I have ever seen!
But the main part was when I turned a corner and ran one way down the road, whilst faster runners ran the opposite direction. Firstly it made me feel great seeing pacers for half an hour ahead of me, but then I got to the U-turn and I became one of those faster runners.
I've never been a fast runner (in all honesty I'm sti9l not a fast runner), but the buzz of seeing people behind me was unreal. Don't get me wrong, I definitely do not mean this in a mean of nasty way. I mean it in one of the most appreciative ways possible because a year ago, and two years ago, I was in their shoes. I was at that pace and I struggled, but plodded on. Today I had the privelege of cheering these guys on, shouting across the road that they were fucking awesome (and no-one gave dirty looks for my swearing), clapping them and it made me feel so unbelievably amazing. It was a feeling I just cannot put fully into words.
I've known that is something I love about running is the community feel you get. Today was no different running with someone I have known for over 23 years, someone I have known for just over a year and someone I met today. I say running with, we met before and they were at the finishing line.
I think that through my running, I have achieved something I have been seeking for so long ... realisation that I am capable, I am supported and I am part of it. So screw the PB (don't screw the PB - I won't shut up about it for a while), and look at the journey I have taken.
Six years ago someone had the idea to say fuck mental health stigma in the hospitality industry and created a strong loving community. I am so fortunate to be part of both that community and part of the running community and it truly means so much to me.
I still have my mental battles, I still stress over the big and small things which really affect how I act, but today was a turning point. I acknowledged that I am part of a community, part of something so much bigger, and do you know what, it feels so good that I want everyone to be part of these communities.
I am proud of what happened today (tired as I then went to work - stupidly) and apart from the physical pain, which will go, I would do it again for these communities.
To everyone else that ran today, a massive well done. Feel great, not matter your time, because you may not know this, but you are special, you are capable and you are absolute fucking legends.
15th March - Forgot to screenshot and genuinely can't remember
Distance: 5.01km
Pace: 4:55/km
Time: 24m 36s
So today marked a couple of milestones, the main one was that it was my 25th ParkRun. Now I know that may not seem very many to some, especially as someone there was wearing a 500 t-shirt, but for me this is impressive. I have been going less than a year so it equates to once a fortnight, and me sticking with organised exercise is similar to pritt stick sticking to anything. It generally doesn't happen.
I was really pleased with the fact that I hit my 25 mark and one of my running buddies even messaged me beforehand wishing me a happy 25th. Annoyingly, I got to the briefing slightly late, so I didn't get to wear the cape.
This blatently means I am going to have to do another 25 ParkRuns and make sure I am super early so that I can grab the 50 cape. I think that's doable- but Saturday mornings are a bit of a nightmare. I enjoy sleeping. Especially sleeping in.
I did though have to email the co-ordinators later on as my results hadn't come through. Normally, I wouldn't mind but it was a milestone and if its not online its not true - if you don't believe google Donald Trump policies. Then you have to believe that everything online is true.
But also what needed to be recorded (and yes it was recorded on my strava as well) because ...
I GOT A PB
Yes, you read that right. I managed to get a PB meaning that I am back in the sub-25 5k club, which is an absolutely awesome club to be in. So much better than the sub-20 club because I will never join them and they take everything too seriously. Like one of my other running buddies joined the sub-20 club today and he hasn't had a wispa bar since last October, and he is literally eating carbs and proteins for a long run tomorrow. (And by long run I mean a half marathon - I am eating crisps and pork belly). So yeah hurrah to the sub-25 club and screw the sub-20 club.
On top of all this, my pace was the fastest known to man. I have never averaged less than a 5 minute km, but today I did. And that is shittingly amazing. Whoop whoop!
Don't get me wrong, it was hard. I started off too quickly and by 3.5km, I was having to dig deep, like journey to the centre of the earth deep and the vile language I was screaming (in my head - there are too many people at ParkRun for me to swear out loud). At points it was just tough, it was ugly and the spit made an ever so sexy guest appearance.
But I did it, and I cam 158th out of 559, and that is truly awesome.
I just have to get through tomorrow, where I do my first half. Am I going to get a PB? Honestly, I don't know. It would be great if I did, but at the same time, it will be just as great to finish the bloody thing. My first half marathon of the year, where my friends will be graciously waiting at the end before going out for lunch (hopefully lunch includes chips with a side of burger) because lunch is a great way to reward your body physically and mentally after a stupidly long run.
But that is tomorrow's problem, today's is how many carbs are in crisps, and questioning whether I can be bothered to walk to Sainsbury's as I have run out of diet coke - yes that is a crisis!
13th March - Just Dance
Distance: 7.27km
Pace: 6:19/km
Time: 45m 59s
An awesome run if I do say so myself! I was worried that I was going too fast today, but turns out I had read the app wrong and I was actually at the pace I was meant to go (overall). I know its odd me saying it might have been too fast, but apparently the more you run and train, the better you get at it and that means you actually get faster.
I'm still not Usain Bolt, and I have come to the sad conclusion that I will never be as fast as him (my heart is so truly broken with this fact - not) but any increase in average pace is great with me.
However, I don't think it is just the training and I'm sorry (not sorry) to harp on about this - if harping on is the correct expression - but I believe that fuelling plays a major part in my gains.
Literally all that I had eaten and drunk before the run was a wispa bar and some diet coke. Brilliant sugar and hydration and I intend to stick with this ultimate running diet and when I complete another marathon (hopefully my final normal marathon) I will publish a cookbook that involves copious amounts of chocolate and diet coke, and then everyone will be an amazing runner. Everyone will be able to set goals to smash any record set by Mr Bolt and generally just be a fabulous runner.
And then I will come back to the real world and realise that I am fucking awesome at plodding along the streets with my sweatband on setting a fashion trend that will never catch on.
Beyond my incredible fuelling, I do have to give a major shout out to my running trainers. Without realising it (so treating them like members of my family - which they have truly become) it was their birthday the other day. They officially celebrated being 1 year old. So for those uninitiated in the running world, in trainer years this is just over 64 years old, and amazingly they are now considering their retirement plans.
Coincidentally, they have set their retirement date as April 27th 2025, which is also the day I intend to retire from running Marathons (in the UK).
Similar to me, they will celebrate this retirement with exceptionally healthy fuelling and then hiding in a dark place for a while. However, whilst I will have to come out of retirement at some point, the trainers will not and will happily stay in this dark place until the point they decide this world is no longer for them.
On a more serious note, the trainers are a God send and truly help my running. I am basically blister free and when I actually do go a bit faster and look like one of those proper runners with a spring in their step, they actually don't make me want to chop my feet off to avoid the pain.
So ...
HAIL TO THE RUNNING TRAINER
Having said this, they do need to get me through a half marathon this weekend and then last until this journey is over.
9th March - Sorry
Distance: 18.17km
Pace: 6:48/km
Time: 2h 03m 31s
Despite what the photo looks like, it was taken at about 15km, when I got lost in local woods, trying to find a route that would not completely cover my trainers in mud. Frustratingly, this route failed at doing so, (even though the Summer heatwave continues) and it even had the audacity to add to my average time for that kilometre (also probably not helped with the need to take a toilet break just after the picture was taken).
It was my longest run of the year, and it had great times. I think if I can run at this pace throughout the whole marathon, then I might just get a PB, and be able to walk the following day.
Obviously, being able to walk the following day is completely discretionary and knowing how my body works, the train journey home is going to be exceptionally interesting).
But it was finally a good run. One where I got to see the local area on roads that I haven't been down before and some which will be covered next week when I do a half marathon. Yes you read that right, I am doing a half marathon. Like an actual proper one, where I get a medal and a t-shirt and even more kudos on Strava (because it doesn't count if its not on strava and its not a proper half or marathon - come to think of it - unless there's a medal at the end.)
I love that I now run for a not-so-shiny piece of metal. But I need to get something out of this.
This week was a hard week of training, covering 40kms on foot and another 1.2kms in water. This was over five runs and one swim, and my body hasn't done that much exercise since ... EVER. Genuinely, even doing the ultra last year didn't have me training this much, and then if you throw work into the mix and socialising (which really doesn't happen much - runners only socialise with other runners whilst on runs), then the week becomes so much longer.
Another positive of the run, was realising that I can get up at the crack of dawn and go and do stupid things. I don't have to wait until lunchtime or the afternoon. When I set out, there was barely anyone else on the pavements, apart from other hardcore runners / idiots like me that think running is a good thing to do. It also meant that I could legitimately eat a Wispa bar at 7am, and start on the Haribo by 8am. Who in their right mind is going to say that that is a bad thing?
Also due to the cost of living crisis, I have had to move some of my fuelling to the cheaper, less sugar filled, cheaper sweetie variety of Haribo, but I am hoping the lottery win (which I haven't even entered) will come through soon so I can get on those oh so amazing Jelly Babies.
Only seven weeks until the actual marathon, and things aren't too shit (apart from almost getting my first blister - almost).
6th March - No music, just chatting and swearing
Distance: 4.50km
Pace: 6:50/km
Time: 30m 47s
Me: Hey mate, its due to be a 6km easy run today, fancy joining?
Michael: Yeah that would be cool.
Me: Where do you want to run? Round mine, near the pub?
Michael: Shall we try somewhere new?
Me: Yeah, sounds good. I'll pick you up in a bit, and you can give directions. Please don't forget your epi-pen.
He didn't forget his epi-pen, but he also would not let me use it, after my major allergic reaction to running up a hill. And this time, for once, it was an actual hill. The whole run saw and elevation of over 60m, so I truly needed that epi-pen with my 'recognised as the official 15th allergen' allergy.
Though this might be the last time I let other people decided where to run.
In one sense, it was a great running location, with loads of potential, especially when it starts and ends by a beautiful pub with a gorgeous beer garden to help you rehydrate. However, a route would have been lovely.
Despite us experiencing Summer temperatures in the middle of March (it was allegedly 17 degrees today) we managed to run through bogs that were deeper than my ankles, meaning, my stunning white running socks became a shitty brown colour. We ran where there weren't even paths, because allegedly 'there's a path just over there.' As shown in the picture. But not only were we traipsing over moorland, it was uneven with sexy little puddles for your feet to fall in. Though he was right, there was a path just over there. It just happened to have a stream four feet down blocking our access to it. I say blocking but Michael in his 'I'm a lanky fucker' phase of life basically just stepped over it. Me on the other hand completely embraced the 'I'm middle aged who misses lazing on the sofa' phase of life, clambered down and somehow climbed up the other side, to the amusement of my running buddy.
After this though I was able to start embracing my 'fuck it' phase of life. I was already covered in mud, it was meant to be an easy run, it was meant to be fun. The result of this, is that my feet are still cold hours later, my trainers will remain wet for the next six weeks, and I did not make it to the full 6km.
So what did I learn today?
1) Trail running is not to be considered an easy run, unless you are a professional athlete and / or under the age of 30.
2) Some times you have to truly embody your inner Saturday night gladiator, because when I let everything go, I was actually better than Legend, Apollo and Giant put together.
3) Trying new running routes is ace. Despite the aforementioned issues and hills I will be going back.
4) Running with a friend or friends is absolutely fucking awesomely out of this world.
It was fun. It was funny. It was exactly what I needed to help with a bit of a running rut and to top it all off, I believe I am now only intolerant to inclines (but isn't every sane person) and I have now officially completed my 200th activity on Strava. And as all self-respecting runner knows ...
IF ITS NOT ON STRAVA IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!
4th March - Move Your Feet
Distance: 6.50km
Pace: 5:49/km
Time: 37m 50s
If you look at the dates, you may be thinking that I have been slack with my running and in one sense you would be absolutely correct. But you what you should also know is that I have been more slack with my blogging. You know the whole thing that helps the fundraising, which realistically is the only reason I am putting myself through this immense form of torture.
But today, 8 years after our final goodbye to mum, I went out again and did one of those fast running things, which, to be fair I am not allergic to, but do have a rather larger intolerance of.
However, today was a good fast running things. Ish. Like I managed to keep to the times set by the app, but failed in the whole looking fabulouus whilst doing so. This does not come as a surprise to me.
What did not help is having a heatwave equivalent to August in the Sahara, meaning the sun was in my eyes, and the sweat actually was at ris of causing more flooding than the rain last week. But I pushed through, and no doubt helped by mum watching down. Also, my fuelling was completely on point today. I actually remembered my water bottle this time (I've had a tendency to forget this), and wispa bars with diet coke beforehand obviously played a leading role in today's performance.
What also helped was realising you had a day full of meetings, and you had to get the run in, with time to spare so you didn't look like a soggy corpse on the team calls.
However, I still do not like pushing myself as much as I did today. The Runna app tells you when you need to go faster and slower and to be honest, I am 100% shit at staying on pace. One minute it was telling me to speed up, the next to slow down. Interrupting my music (luckily it was shit songs at that point) and really confusing me.
Even writing about how frustrating it can be (I love you really Runna) has made me burn a curry. Like how do you burn a fucking curry???
But on the plus side, it means I have now competed two runs this week, with a goal of completing five and hopefully going for a swim as I desperately need to strengthen my knees. It'll be a nice change looking like a whale in a swimming pool as opposed to a whale on trails.
I am desperate to up my gain now, otherwise I might not hit my sub-5 hour target and potentially not hit my marathon target. And that would piss me off.
Fingers crossed tomorrow's run does not see the return of the dribbling drooling runner and allows the fabulous almost influencer style runner coming out.
25th February - Picture Of You
Distance: 6.89km
Pace: 6:14/km
Time: 43m 01s
What some may call interval running in a public place at lunch time I call an act of gross indecency (despite how good it felt - after). Therefore please accept this as ;
FORMAL OFFER OF SINCERE APOLOGIES
Firstly, I feel it is only right for me to apologise to my phone, who I may have threatened to smash a few times whilst out running today. I realise you are just a vessel carry important information. It is not your fault, you are simply the messenger which I will not shoot. I would also like to thank you for the music you provided (despite only one headphone working - which will not get an apology), which I genuinely could not focus on, because I was too engrossed with my vulgar actions.
Next, I feel I should pass on my apologies to the Runna app. It is not your fault that I chose to follow your plan. It is not your fault you are set to get me through a marathon, and it is certainly not your fault that I put myself through these vile acts of exercise.
In reality you are like a supportive parent wanting their child to do well in the GCSEs. Pushing them at a pace that may not feel great for the learner, but using your experience and knowing that the ends justifies the means. When I told you I hated you, it was a lie. Deep down I love you, it was just a silly temper tantrum at having to do my homework.
Today, my body took a battering, running at speeds I haven't done in a long time, or possibly ever. As a result, my joints felt it. For some reason, that includes my shoulders? So to my body, I am sorry. Although I don't always love you, you have been my longest companion, and I have grown to tolerate you - no matter what. To make up for this, I will ensure that I fuel better before my runs (I need to up it to two wispa bars) and do that rare, mythical activity known as a warm-up.
Regarding those that I may have passed whilst out running around in such a crude manner, you also recieve my sincere apologies. When you heard me shouting things such as 'fucking twat,' and 'will you just fucking well move,' it was not aimed at you. (Except the two teenage truant boys who thought it would be funny to actually and purposefully get in my way - you do not recieve an apology from me and you are both need to get partners and stop being wankers). I appreciate that my swearing sometimes add to the hilarity of the situation, but please know that none of it was aimed at you, my adoring public. I would also like to add that when I say I was shouting these utter obscenities, please know that I was so absolutely out of breath that it may have actually just come out as a meek and timid whisper.
Finally, my heart felt apologies goes to anyone that looked at me whilst I was trying these intervals. It truly was not a nice sight. Sweating, out of breath and at one point having spit dribble down my chin, made for a sight that should be reserved for scary movies with an 18 guidance. From now on, please for the sake of your own sanity, if you see me trying to do this stupid thing known as training, please look away, please do not make eye contact (don't worry you will not turn to stone - to be fair anyone who saw me in that condition wouldn't even get close to being as hard as stone) and in return, I will try harder to look like one of those beautiful, genuine running influencers, or just run in a crowd so that I get lost in obscurity.
Overall, as much as I tried to do intervals, where I actually hit the speeds needed and kept me on marathon target, it was not something that should ever be repeated by myself or anyone over the age of 30. Therefore, please accept my humble apology for today and the future, where (sucks to be you - and me) I will be doing them again.
Kind regards
Ian
P.S. The picture is of me wanting to die after the intervals and before the cooldown.
22nd February - Sound of Silence
Distance: 7.61km
Pace: 6:26/km
Time: 48m 56s
So what does someone that calls themselves a runner do when ParkRun is cancelled but they still need to get a run in?
They do Non-ParkRun ParkRun, which ended up being longer than an actual ParkRun, but without people getting in your way at the start, and going your own route, based on a previous route.
It also completely legitimises having two breakfasts (which is why there is a stock picture of breakfast - plus I was totally focused on running and forget to take a picture).
So the working theory for two breakfasts is that I need one beforehand to ensure I have the right fuel in me to be able to run - which is completely legitimate. This was wispa bars, peanut butter and marmite sandwiches and boiled eggs. This is totally full of protein, carbs and sugars. Perfect. The second is because you have just burnt so much energy that you need to refuel yourself, otherwise, you are going to be injured and hungry and quite frankly when I get hungry I get sassy and when I get sassy I am an absolute bitch (which some say is a good thing - and they would be 100% correct).
It also allows me to be a greedy little piggy, and I definitely do not have any issue with this, and can absolutely advocate eating. Its bloody great.
As for the run itself. I genuinely have no idea how I used to be a lot quicker, but I was out of breath by the end of it, though I am no longer injuring myself when I run (touch wood this continues). I am a bloody great plodder and if I can plod at this pace, then there shouldn't be an issue ion hitting my target time.
Apart from the whole having to run a bloody long way, whilst ensuring my phone doesn't die, I wave to my adoring fans (also known as family) and don't get sunburnt like last time.
As for the phone not dying, I need my music, and my playlist is getting better and better (despite most people bloody hating it as there is literally everything on there). Whilst I was listening to sound of silence for the majority of the run (it was a dirty remix (look at me getting down with da kids), I did get some Jackson 5 in there as well, which again is just as awesome.
I also did a bit of thinking today, and realised I am actually just a twat with some of my thoughts surrounding running. One of the thoughts was doing the marathon in an inflatable outfit - I don't know why, but it came into my head, and in one sense I am totally considering it. It may hinder me, cause more chafing and sweating, but at least if I fuck up I can blame the outfit. Thoughts?
One more run this weekend, and that'll be another wek complete. Let's hope it goes ok!
20th February - One Day More
Distance: 5.53km
Pace: 6:27/km
Time: 35m 40s
So it turns out I quite like running at lunch time. I don't know what it is, but I was fully awake and actually enjoyed the run.
I also loved the two wispa bars that I had beforehand to ensure I was fuelling properly.
However, looking back it took a lot longer than I thought it would and even longer than it felt. I thought I might be close to another PB, but I was miles off. Literally about ten minutes off a PB, but whilst I was running, it felt like I was only out for 20 minutes. Not 35 minutes.
Although I say it took longer than I thought, it was bang in the middle of my Runna app, which I believe is a good thing. Though if I keep up with the app, I am going to be sprinting (at a slower pace than most people jog) very soon.
It was also a proper grey day and I times my run, bloody well as it started properly pissing it down just after I finished my ten minutes of mooching about, which I consider a totally adequate form of warm down. But grey is good. Grey means I don't overheat and sweat like a pig. Grey means that only the brave or the crazy actually venture outside the house to do exercise in public - I am not brave. Grey means that I could just run and the music ...
Oh it was bloody fantastic and I am pretty sure I know every word, harmony and pitch of every voice in the song One Day More. I find it such a rousing song, that I just had it on repeat for the entire run and it just got me going. I love it. I was singing (to myself - don't worry) all the way along and just turning my entire brain off and focusing on the words and one leg in front of the other. It has truly been a long long time since I have been able to do that and I am actually considering just listening to that song for the entirety of the marathon. Though feel it may actually piss me off by the end.
I also have to say that one of the perks of working from home is the ability is being able to go for a run around your phone calls and around the work you need to get done. It also allowed for about two hours of procrastination (also known as work). It also completely allowed me to eat absolute shit before and after the run.
Maybe this was why the run was so blissful.
Oh as for telling you the other day that I had run out of excuses to miss my runs ... I lied. I still have the ultimate excuse of I genuinely can not be arsed. But I am fine with that, because at some point I will get out the door and at some point I will think to myself, 'why am I such a twat for not going earlier?'
17th February - Everybody
Distance: 12.00km
Pace: 6:22/km
Time: 1h 16m 29s
Another week and another run. And what a run it was. The longest I have done this year, my second fastest time in a 10k, and new roads and routes to plod along.
Such a great start.
Though, I have now learnt, that if doing more than a 10k, then I must eat more than a wispa bar beforehand. Maybe next time I'll try two, or I'll throw in some other random food. I was tempted to go back to old faithful of marmite and peanut butter on toast, but the major issue with this was the lack of bread in the bread bin (yes I am middle aged and have a bread bin).
I am actually amazed at how the run went. It may have been helped by a good night's sleep, and despite the new routes, I think I just felt a little more confident on the parts I have already plodded.
It is still slippy out there, in parts (one km was completely slowed down as I had my running shoes on rather than skates), but due to the recent weather, the iced up ground did help with not stacking it completely. It was also helped by not that many people being around, getting in my way, or letting dogs yap at me. Bliss.
I have absolutely no idea how I will feel tomorrow, as my warm down was almost non-existant (due to needed to send some emails), plus the desire to actually stop moving. In one sense the warm down is better than my warm up, primarily because it sometimes happens, and I do a gentle stroll whilst scrolling strava.
As for the rest of the week, this is my first proper deload week, meanig my body is allowed to recover whilst still training. And I really hope that I manage to complete all the runs (with an extra one tonight as I know at leats one runner is turning up for Run For The Road).
Yep, you read that right, 12km this morning and another 5km tonight. I'm so glad that running helps my mental health, because anyone else doing this, or seeing this will most likely call me crazy.
I have also run out of excuses regarding why I cannot run, so it looks like I'm stuck doing this whole training crap.
Here's to more muscles aches, here's to more blogs, here's to more looking like a sweaty mess in public, here's to raising more money for The Burnt Chef Project, here's to eating randomly whilst convincing myself its healthy and here's to trying to get a sub 5 hour marathon.
69 dyas to go!!
15th February - Just A Little
Distance: 4.77km
Pace: 5:41/km
Time: 27m 08s
For once my running app seemed to align with ParkRun. Not doing a long run ending in the ParkRun but actually could fit into the whole thing. Ish
Today was meant to be a progressive run, which basically this means I had to get faster and faster to a point that you actually question whose legs you're moving on, whilst also thinking what the fuck am I doing and wondering how long until you have colossal back pain from the impact again? But it was only meant to be 5.5km.
The main issue is that is wasn't 5.5km!
I had already planned to ignore the final 500m, as this was a warm down bit of the run, and I knew I was walking home straight after, meaning my run should have been the perfect ParkRun.
However, some people (naming no names) think it is acceptable to call 4.77km a total 5km. So you know, it is not acceptable to do this. I'm sure its lovely for some people to think that the missing 230m still counts and if I wasn't training I would be one of those people, but I am in training and I need those 230m.
Not much you may think, but there is apparently some scientific crap that goes on behind the scenes (also known as my app) that can determine my marathon time from these runs, and every metre is important.
Its almost like I care about this whole running shit that I am doing, and, in one sense, I do care. I want to run a sub 5-hour marathon. If I can do that I can stop with the whole long distance running rubbish and move on with my life - potentially. When I do the marathon it will be 42.2km, not 40, not 40.1, but 42.2 and those little things matter to me.
Yes it has annoyed me - ever so slightly.
On the plus side, it was a good route, a mixture of tarmc and MUD. Genuinely, so much mud and for once I loved slipping around in it, because I was not the only overgrown child messing about.
The other plus side is that the scientific crap that happens in the background, still says I am on target with my pace, which means (unless of course I really fuck up - which I a huge possibility) I might just achieve my goal. This is great, and come to think of it I'm knackered, so those few extra metres may have killed. But I am still alive.
Today was also the first run inn a long time where I didn't fuel with a wispa bar, but had actual carbs and protein (leftover chinese chicken and rice). Would my time have been faster? I doubt it, was breakfast as delicious? Almost, but I get to do a long run tomorrow and I am looking forward to the boiled eggs and wispa bar to get the day going.
13th February - Everytime We Touch
Distance: 8.00km
Pace: 6:19/km
Time: 50m 39s
One km for every year since I last held mum's hand, kissed her cheek and said goodbye. That was the point of today's run.
A run to remember the incredible woman that she was, her lasting memory in not just her family and friends, but all of those whose lives she touched directly and indirectly.
In all honesty, I didn't want to go for a run, I didn't actually want to do anything today and I did spend a long time considering how I would fit my runs in for the week, if I could actually get out of today's run. But then I realised that I needed to go.
Did it feel good? I'm not sure. Am I glad I went? I'm not sure. Was it actually an easy run which is what the app said I needed to do? I'm really not sure.
What I do know, was that I had to do it. If mum was about she would've done the loving thing of saying that it didn't atter if I missed a run or not. There would always be a chance for me to catch up on another day (how she has changed from forcing me to run around the Bal or the big block as a child). But I know that although nowadays she wouldn't push me, she would be silently pissed about it.
She would have been - deep down - fucked off that she had effected my running schedule, so ultimately I had to run.
And when I got the muddy bit, I know she was watching over me. Mainly because I could spy the dry patch ahead of me, but she bloody blocked the way with swamps, marshland, and puddles the size of the Pacific. Hope you had a good chuckle up them mum, whilst sipping your Camel Valley and eating jumbalaya (without the sodding chicken). She was with e on that run, and the other way I knew she was cheering me (something she has done for the last 41 years)?
She knows how lazy I am, she knwos I will always try to take the quick and easy way out, and today the app said it should be an easy 7km run. It was her that made it an 8km run. It was her that gave me the energy (my fuelling was actually worse than usual due to staying in bed for the majority of the day) to go that extra km and do it well. It was her that made me walk about another km to warm down, which I never do. So here's to you mum. Cheers!
You still inspire me, you still push me, and I still do what I do to make you proud, and I know you would've been proud of today's run (I did it quicker than the Bal) and its you that will get me the rest of the way.
10th February - Best Day Of My Life
Distance: 10.04km
Pace: 6:15/km
Time: 1h 2m 44s
That was brilliant. I not only got a PB on my 10k, but also got over my mental running block and did a whole 10k.
I've been putting off long runs recently. I've put it down to being busy, or still recovering from injury or any number of excuses, but I woke up, with a few days off and thought just do it. Just get out there and do it. I have the rest of the day to recover, if I need to (except for relaunching Run For The Road) so just fucking do it.
And I did.
And it was bloody brilliant. I managed to do a new route today as well, which was in one sense lovely.
I did get to one point of the run where I had to make the decision to do some trail running or hill running. Obviously with my allergy to hills, I chose the trails. Little did I realise quite how muddy it would be, and at one point, I think I was skidding all over the place rather than actually running, but soon after it was back to firm ground.
I should've plotted the route properly rather than just winging it and taking whichever turn I thought looked nice. I should've also calculated the distance so that I didn't need to look at my app or constantly be checking where the Hell I was on maps. But I still enjoyed it, and it was lovely not just running on streets.
Getting some routes in that take in beautiful garden and wilderness, reminded me about the great part of running. The part where you actually get to see the world and experience tranquility (whilst being deeply out of breath). All this whilst having a banging playlist. One of which was recommended to me from a quiz master after a quiz night, and that powered me through the final 1 km.
I am deeply out of practice with complimenting running, so not sure what else to say. However, I do know that I need to train a lot more. I have less than 10 weeks to go until the marathon and whilst I know that I would be able to muddle through it, keeping with my mantra of 'plodding on,' I want to smash this one.
I do have a few more runs this week and I am adamant that I will actually complete them without injuring myself.
As for now, I need to get the running stuff back on and head to London for Run For The Road (hopefully people turn up despite the weather).
I am buzzing from today, and I only hope that it keeps getting better.
Oh I'm also tempted to join a swimming pool to help with fitness levels, and to avoid having to make my diet a sensible one.
5th February - Dancing In The Moonlight
Distance: 7.13km
Pace: 6:34/km
Time: 46m 50s
Whoever invented interval training is a dick. Actually no. That's unfair. They're an absolute and total nob-weasel.
Seriously who thinks, lets make training even more undesirable by making you run, then walk, then run even faster, then walk and repeat and then run to cool down? I mean this is basically a form of torture.
Last time I did interval training, I ended up injuring myself putting me out for about two weeks. This time, I'm not exactly injured, but I'm pretty sure that tomorrow is going to be an interesting day. Will I be able to move, or will tomorrow be an absolute write off? Who knows? All I know was that I struggled to get the pacing on the speed bits and that I would prefer to run an entire marathon than run intervals again. (Oh wait - I am running a sodding marathon).
I know I have been a bit slack on the whole blogging front, but please rest assured that I have actually been out running. I almost didn't and am putting Run For The Road on pause for a week (it was going to be longer, but then as soon as I made that decision, people approached me saying they wanted to join and its soooooo difficult to say no, when you've worked so hard towards it.)
But as for today's run. All I can say is - BASTARDS. I'm a sweaty mess, and looking forward to my other runs this week, because they are all at conversational pace. This is a pace I really enjoy and can go the distance with. Though I don't actually talk to anyone so not sure if it truly is conversational.
There's only 82 days left until the actual marathon and its starting to worry me slightly. I know I have done them before, but this seems like an uphill battle. I genuinely don't know what is going on that is stopping me from running how I was last year, but something is holding me back.
It may be my diet (though that is not changing), it may be the landscape (I much prefer trails than roads), it maybe a lot of factors, but ultimately, I need to just keep pushing on.
And maybe going forward, I skip the training part that says intervals, because they are assholes and focus on the long and short runs (or just suck it up and stop being a whiney bitch)?!?!
29th January - Day and Night
Distance: 6.01km
Pace: 6:32/km
Time: 39m 13s
All I can say is at least this one actually happened. I am becoming proper shit with my running schedule, so when a run actually happens, it is something to be celebrated, despite the circumstances.
If you've read my blog before, you will know that I am not very good at getting out of the house and putting myself through the torture of running and not much has changed. I was meant to go on a long run on Saturday morning, but my bed (despite being ridiculously uncomfortable) was too comfortable. Then I was meant to do the 5k Run For The Road - but as per usual no-one turned up, and then I was meaning to do a 71 minute run (one for each year of mum's life on her birthday). But none of these happened.
So I am back to saying 'At least it fucking happened.' I think one reason it happened was that I have been so shit with running, I have had to adapt my training programme to take into account my lack of running. This meant the notification simply said '6km Easy Run.'
Easy Run. I can do that shit. That's me plodding along at a nice pace. Yes, I am totally all over that. Especially when it also says that you shouldn't be going faster than 6:30 / km. Another win.
But what I thought was going to be an easy run, was actually harder than it should have been! I thought I was being clever and fuelling properly with tuna, and wholegrains, and diet coke and wispa bar, but then I thought I would add a bag of salt and vinegar crisps into the mix. Salt is apparently very good for you, when running as it helps absorb something or some scientific shit which I do not understand.
But it turns out that crisps are not the best thing to eat an hour before a run. Who knew? It meant that everytime I coughed whilst running, I actually regurgitated crisps, which would then get stuck in my throat and piss me off. It actually meant that my body was still digesting everything because I didn't eat at the right time, making me sluggish and adding about 250kg onto my actual body weight, meaning there was more of me to lug around.
It was not a pretty site for anyone to see and then when you go at the time I did (as everyone was getting home from work) they decided to take every sodding dog out for a walk and it seems there is a law in this area that every sodding dog has to bark at me and be on one of the pully leads meaning they were just in my sodding way.
The only good things that came out of this run, was firstly I was able to complete it without actually collapsing into a heap of pain and tears, and secondly the time I went.
With all the work on the A3 and M25, the traffic was shit, and I love running when I am faster than the cars. Even though I wasn't fast it did make me feel like I was the white larger version of Usain Bolt. Fucking get in!
Hopefully, the next one won't be quite so traumatising (I think we all know it will be) but at least it happened.
24th January - Take Me To Church
Distance: 6.18km
Pace: 6:19/km
Time: 39m 03s
I needed that run.
I Desperately needed that run. After what has felt like one of the longest weeks in the world, where I have achieved very little and a lot at the same time, I needed that run.
And the great thing is I managed to get it in before Traitors final this evening. (Its nice seeing two-faced people outside of the workplace).
It certainly wasn't the longest, but it was just the right distance to not damage myself before tomorrow's long run.
It was the first time I have run solo in quite some time, and therefore had the opportunity to run at whatever pace I wanted, and I am thrilled with the pace. I'm also thrilled that I have grown from just trying to get out for a run, to actually giving a real shit about my time and how much I want to be improving on that time.
The quest to find the headtorch is still ongoing, so leaving with a little light and planning the route to be covered by street lamps was the target for today, and at no point did I manage to trip over the beautifully potholed pavements of Byfleet, and more amazingly, I didn't step in any dog shit.
The music was blaring in my ears and I don't even sing out loud this time, or wave my arms about too much (probably helped by focusing on staying upright).
It was meant to be a run with a friend, though on a phone call to focus on what professionals call 'conversational pace.' The phone call didn't happen, primarily because I didn't know if the other runner was out running, I also forgot to call him, and I was worried my battery would die. Also, lets be realistic, who wants to hear my heavy breathing down the phone. It's marathon training not some dodgy porn line.
This was my third run of the week, and third run without major incident this year. Looking back I had covered 100km by this time last year, the difference this time is quality over quantity (he says knowing that he is aiming for 13-16km in the morning).
And also again, let's get back to reality and question what that quality is?!?!
The new headband, certainly helped with hiding how much of a sweaty mess I was, but taking it off and picking it up after the run and you can imagine how grim that was!
Quality really isn't all its cracked up to be, and the quantity really isn't there yet, but we are getting there. Its a marathon - not a sprint. But ultimately, I needed that run.
And now its time to start fuelling for tomorrow (without wispa bars, but definitely with diet coke).
22nd January - Since U Been Gone
Distance: 10km
Pace: 7:40/km
Time: 1h 16m 48s
A rather apt song to start the new blog with as this was my first proper long run of the year, having suffer immense trauma from running so far in 2025.
My first ever run ended up in hospital, as my running partner thought it was a good time to have an allergic reaction (told you running wasn't good for you). Followed by freezing cold runs which completely effected my chest and then an interval training which almost left me unable to walk for over a week. So today was an achievement, because as yet I am uninjured and without severe trauma.
Somehow, however, I have managed to lose my head torch so was slightly worried about running in the afternoon / early evening, but amazingly it isn't that dark at the moment, or the street lights are working. To substitute the lack of head torch, I did manage to dig out my old body torch, which I am pretty sure is missing a few straps and was - to put it nicely - a bag of shit hanging off my body. It was of absolutely no use and I will definitely not be using it again (read that of it will be used again because I don't have any other torch).
The run started off well, and continued well, as I think I now know my conversational pace. It was useful meeting a new runner at 2.5k and doing 3.5k with her, as this ensured I was not pushing too hard and that I could go the distance. It was also fun teaching her how to overcome the brain which says 'no' and 'stop' by teaching her the vital running phrases such as 'fuck off,' 'fuck you,' and the most important one ... 'fuck it.'
It was a route we have done before, but I have to say its been a long time since plodding some of those paths and it was good to be back.
It was also only meant to be an 8k, but ended up at 10k, mainly because of how childish I am unable to stop on a random figure unless it is an official finishing line, I got back to mine at 8.48km.
Obviously, this meant that I had to run a little bit further to hit the 9k mark, which I then obviously and totally missed, resulting in me running up and down my road for a further 400m, allowing me the precise distance of 10k.
The best parts however, were the half bag of haribo that was eaten before, the pizza I am now eating, the absolute lack of pain in any part of my body (first time in six months) and the fact that I felt I could keep going. I felt like I could have totally gone at least another 5k, which is quite frankly awesome.
Its great to be back.
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